This is a Temporary Title.

I’m not so good at small talk. Maybe it’s because I don’t like small talk. I don’t like responding with cliche responses. But for some reason, everybody born and raised in the States has this desire to respond with the default. When I ask people how they are doing, it’s usually “I’m good” or “I’m tired.” A close third place would be a reference to prelims (for nonCornellians these are basically midterms). To me, “I’m good” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest. “I’m tired” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest in a more apathetic state of mind. “I’m gonna fail my prelim” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest in a more apathetic state of mind topped with some self-pity. How exciting small talk is.

I realized recently that I often succumb to this social norm, much more more than I would like to, so I’ve taken up the process of expanding my response options. Here are some responses I’ve come up with to further encourage the departure from surface-level conversation. Warning: Awkward moments may arise.

“I’m stellar!”
“Splashingly swell, ol’ chap.”
“I’m mad good.”
“I’ve been tripping up on my inputed righteousness.”
“I feel like the sun.”
“Electric!”
“Today is my philosophical day.”
“I feel like Indiana Jones/the Terminator/Sherlock Holmes/Jigglypuff.”
“My heart is flowing with joy and blood.”

Of course, such responses are no better than the default responses if the conversation is left there. Perhaps a few sentences could be provided explaining the reason for such a response. Then the conversation can carry on from there, newly refreshed and ready to fly.

There is, however, a difference between describing a conversation and having a conversation. It’s easier to say what to put into practice than to actually practice. But practice makes perfect. Or to be more pessimistic/realistic, practice makes better.

I’m gonna start talking big.

- Larry

Hello all. Today is Valentine’s Day. I don’t have a Valentine. Ha.

Side Note: I heard it said that Valentine’s Day has one of the highest suicide rates of the year, so I decided to blog about that when I got home tonight. However, I looked it up on online, and that’s only a common misconception. Suicide rates aren’t much different.

I feel like Valentine’s Day is a make or break thing for many couples, because it’s so polarizing. A guy truly in love looks forward to Valentine’s Day because it will be a good excuse to do something amazing for the girl. And both people will benefit from that day. A guy not truly in love might see Valentine’s Day as the unneeded stress to live up to expectations and buy something better than what he got last year. In some cases, guys realize this stress, so they take the alternative. They break up with their girlfriends. Both people in those scenarios will not benefit from that day.

Today I was just sitting there at Jack’s Grill thinking about them. Thinking about all the people who were going to hear “I’m not sure if this is working out between us” or something of the like. All the people who had placed their hearts and their hopes and their identities in specific individuals, and all of a sudden those individuals leave. All the people who gave themselves away just for nothing. All the people who thought they knew love but realized they didn’t. All the people who starve for attention and stuff their mouths with dirt. And what they resort to in order to fix themselves. And the thoughts ripped my heart to pieces.

Oh how I wish they knew Jesus. Oh how I wish they knew this love that never fails.

- Larry

1. I enjoy peanut butter. Sometimes I eat it by itself. Sometimes I eat it with Zia Rahaman.

2. I like making lists. This was a huge passion in the past. In middle school, I tried to a 50 pushups every day, and every day I would write 50 on this calendar I drew out. But then I thought it looked very conspicuous because any liar could write 50 a billion times, so I tried to vary the number of pushups I did every day to make it look more realistic. And when I used Myspace, I quickly hid my Top Friends’ List, because I didn’t want to risk anybody disapproving of my choices, but I still secretly updated my hidden Top Friends’ List every few months or so. Even today, I like making lists of favorite bands or whatnot every now and then.

3. I like kids. I used to play with them a lot. That’s how I chipped my front tooth in 6th grade.

4. When I realize that it’s late and I have to wake up in less than five hours, I put my pillow on my desk and sleep there. That way I won’t sleep through my alarm. In fact, I wake up every other hour.

5. In 3rd grade, I liked a girl for the first time, and I don’t remember anything about her except that she often worse a brown necklace, and one time we were playing Freeze Tag and she tagged me and was puppyguarding me. That was one of the highlights of the year I think.

6. In 7th grade, I worked in the school lunch lines, and I got a certain amount of free food every day. I liked this other girl who I knew I had no chance with. She asked me to get cookies for her, so I did. This happened three times before I realized how foolish I was.

7. I have recently taken the philosophy that a guy starts to become more romantically mature when he begins to “like” girls that most guys don’t often “like.” Sometimes.

8. Every month or so, I go to http://www.youtube.com/onionringleaders and watch all of the videos under that username. That is a video podcast of a road trip I partook in during the summer of 2008. That road trip was perhaps the largest milestone in my teenage years.

9. The first song I recorded with a friend was Dare You to Move in 2004. It was recorded on an MP3. It sounds bad. That is not relative.

10. The following musical artists were, in at least one point in time, my favorite artist. Roughly in order. Casting Crowns, MercyMe, Jeremy Camp, Matthew West, Seventh Day Slumber, Relient K, Switchfoot, Anberlin, The Classic Crime, Boys Like Girls, Cartel, John Mayer, Daphne Loves Derby, and Copeland. Switchfoot probably had the longest reign. This is evidence for #2. Some notable honorable mentions include Delirious, Kutless, Falling Up, FM Static, Mae,  Sherwood, Lifehouse, The Iguana Armpits, Prescription for Collision, The Starting Line, U2, Journey, Matchbox Twenty, Circa Survive, Fall Out Boy, Starfield, Holiday Parade, We Shot the Moon, and Shane and Shane.

11. I spend a lot of time searching and not enough time finding.

12. My favorite instrument to play is the drumset. It is also my worst one probably.

13. I played YMCA basketball almost every season in elementary school. I thought I was good until I didn’t make the 6th grade basketball team at school.

14. I played Little League baseball for about three weeks. I never thought I was good at that.

15. Once upon a time, I was a representative of Cutco Cutlery.

16. In sophomore and junior year, I spent a lot of time researching things like creationism vs evolutionism, biblical prophecy, and evidences of Jesus’ resurrection.

17. Amazing Grace might be my favorite movie.

18. I rarely watch TV shows. The only one that I can say I was passionate about was Pokemon. And maybe Flight of the Conchords.

19. In middle school, I wrote these series of stories known as The Adventures of Pineapple Man. There were ten episodes.

20. In elementary school, the two games I played the most were Pokemon Red Version and Tetris.

21. In elementary school, I wanted to become a basketball player. Shortly after, a writer. Shortly after, a computer engineer. Shortly after, a pastor. Shortly after, a rock star. Shortly after, I had no idea. Therefore, I went into chemical engineering.

22. One time in high school, my anger caused me to punch a hole in the wall. A hole about the size of my fist. Then I left home for a couple hours.

23. I was very inconsistent in high school. I did one year of marching band. One year of swimming and water polo. One year of rugby. Two years of debate. It was worth it.

24. In 7th Grade, I ran for Class Secretary. I wanted my motto to be “Don’t pick your nose. Pick Larry for Secretary.” It was disapproved. I still ended up winning.

25. I love Jesus.

- Larry

Tonight I spent a lot of time listening to music. I think I have a slight addiction to music. Let me reword that. I think I have an addiction to music. When I hear a song that I like but don’t know, I immediately write down the lyrics somewhere so I can look it up later. And then I spend time listening to other songs by that band. The worst ones are the old bands that are still around. Because usually my process of deciding whether or not the band is worth listening to consists of looking them up on Wikipedia and Youtubing all of their singles. Old bands usually have many singles. One such example is Aerosmith.

Anyway, I decided not to make this night totally unproductive by partaking in a pointless task. How unproductive. I compiled twenty songs that I have been listening to quite a bit in the past month or so. I have always been fond of making lists.

Sun – Daphne Loves Derby
Love is a Fast Song – Copeland
This is Twice Now – Lydia
She Doesn’t Get It – The Format
The Road to Jericho is Lined With Starving People – This Providence
Everything’s Right – Matt Wertz
Crimson Red – Holiday Parade
The Last to Know – Sherwood
LFTP – We Shot the Moon
Still Fighting It – Ben Folds
Everybody’s Changing – Keane
Break Even – The Script
Retrace – Anberlin
Streetcorner Symphony – Rob Thomas
Tong Hua – Guang Liang
This Ain’t a Love Song – Bon Jovi
Carry On Wayward Son – Kansas
Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
Paradise City – Guns n’ Roses
Jeremy – Pearl Jam

A friend of mine pointed out something recently that I’ve never thought of before. Allow me to provide some background information regarding this conversation. We were eating dinner, and I was eating fried rice. The fried rice had a variety of vegetables in it. I don’t often enjoy eating vegetables. The said question was along the lines of, “If that fried rice had no rice in it, would you still eat it?” After a moment of pondering, I realized that I wouldn’t have. Or if I did, I would be less happy doing it. After all, all that’s left is vegetables. At this moment, I realized how important rice was. And similarly, how important water was in vegetable soup. Fried rice and vegetable soup, to me at least, come with more pleasant connotations, so I am less opposed to them. The placebo effect? Also, perhaps the flavor of vegetables is more diluted in such things. Because of the said conditions, I am more prone to eat/enjoy the vegetables. Anyhow, I’ve come up with a life application concerning this.

I usually don’t eat carrots by themselves. I usually don’t eat green peas by themselves. But if they are present together with rice, I eat them. Everybody has flaws. Look at the specific flaw of a person, and it will be ugly. It won’t taste good. But the flaw is an ingredient to the total person. Put the flaws together and add some grace, and the flaws won’t be as obvious/annoying. The Application: We can learn to enjoy the presence of people around us if we focus on the person and not the flaw.

Well said Larry.

Don’t flatter yourself Larry.

- Larry